4. Eye Contact

Most likely you are already aware of the significance of eye contact in conversation.  It’s very hard to engage with someone who does not look at you when speaking, and yet a significant minority of my clients, even those well into their careers, can still find this a challenge.

And the challenge is often magnified when speaking at meetings.  Just like when giving a presentation, many people feel the pressure of being in the spotlight.  And in many ways, speaking at a meeting is giving a presentation.  You may have known that you would be called upon speak (in which case I would strongly advocate rehearsing what you plan to say), but even if you’re improvising, it is an opportunity to influence the thinking of everyone in the room.  And to do this effectively you need to make eye contact with your audience, just as in a more formal presentation.

It can be very easy, especially if you feel intimidated by others at the meeting, simply to look at the table or into the middle distance ahead of you.  But to do this risks others disengaging.  At best they stop listening.  And at worst they will interrupt you.

Or you may naturally find yourself speaking only to those whom you see as allies, effectively seeking their approval.  But you must be sure to engage with everyone, spreading your eye contact around the room, including those people on the same side of the table as you.  For most people this requires conscious effort, especially if you are to include those immediately to your side.

And the same applies when other people are speaking.   If you follow the conversation with your eyes, others will see you as part of it.  And therefore when you wish to speak, this is simply a natural progression of your participation.  Whereas if you’re not visibly listening, it’s a bit like leaning back in your chair: you effectively leave the meeting.  Others will be less likely to include you with their own eye contact and, when you do try to speak, it can be like trying to break into a conversation at a party.  Others may subconsciously resent you for intruding on their conversation without invitation.

It’s worth mentioning that this active participation can be tiring, especially in long meetings.  If you get back to your desk and find you are tired, this is actually a good sign because it probably means that you participated fully.  It may take a while to get used to this, but it is well worth it in terms of increasing your influence.

If you’d like to discuss how I can help you sharpen your impact at meetings and get your voice heard, I’d love to hear from you on +44 7973 890578 or at bill@billbritten.co.uk