13. Remote Meetings Part 1

Remote meetings, don’t you just love them?  No?   Well you’re not alone.  Most of my clients find them frustrating and painful. 

But I think most of us would accept that the video-conference, for all its faults, is an improvement on the hideousness of voice-only conference calls.  True, the technology is still quite poor and none of the platforms is particularly impressive.  Connectivity problems are depressingly regular and there is that tiny time-lag that causes two people to start speaking at the same time, followed by both stopping, then starting again etc.  It makes you realise how incredibly sensitive we are to the timing of speech.  If you haven’t seen it, there’s a funny parody of conference calls on youtube here.  The same people have also done a new one on videoconferences, although it’s basically the same set of gags.

But the possibility of meetings without the travel offers so many benefits that they are surely going to play an increasingly large role in the future and we had all better get used to them and sharpen our ability to influence others remotely. 

While someone’s presence in a thumbnail on a screen is never going to offer the same System 1 connection as meeting face-to-face, it does offer a semblance of it, certainly much more so than a phone conference call.  For this we need to be able to see each others’ faces - the triangle from the eyebrows to the chin – because faces are where we read people.  And in particular the eyes – the windows to the soul.   

So the first thing you should do when joining a call is look at your own thumbnail to see what others are seeing of you.  Here are a few simple guidelines on how to set up. 

1) Adjust the webcam to position yourself in the centre of the frame so people can see your head and shoulders clearly.  You don’t want to be too far over to left or right and ideally you should have a little bit of head-room (i.e. space above your head).  Though not too much because this will make you look as though you are not quite tall enough.  I don’t think I’m being height-ist here, it’s simply a question of eliminating distractions

2) Make sure the webcam is level with, or slightly below, your eyes.  Obliging others to look up your nostrils does no one any favours.  So put your laptop on a pile of books or perhaps lower your chair if the monitor height is fixed.  As a rule of thumb, if you can see much of the ceiling, the webcam is too low. 

3) Adjust the lighting so your whole face can be seen, especially your eyes.  I’ve lost count of the video conferences I’ve sat through in which I can’t read someone’s face because they’re silhouetted against the light source or half their face is on shadow. 

This may mean changing your position or opening or closing blinds or curtains.  People often make the mistake of sitting in front of the window but if you do this the webcam will expose for the brightest light which is behind you so your face is dark.  Sitting facing a window is much better than having it behind you.

4) If you are dependent on artificial light make sure it lights the whole of your face rather than lighting half your face and leaving the other half in darkness.

5) Lastly if you wear glasses, make sure your eyes can be seen through the lenses.  If there’s a reflection and it obscures your eyes, others can’t read you.

Following these tips will allow others to see your face and eyes and remove some of the barriers that the technology can put in the way of relationship building.  In the next blog I’ll look at a few ways you can develop the sense of personal connection that is essential if you are to influence others online.