Storytelling for influence part i

Photo by Tim Rebkavets on Unsplash

The neurologist Robert Burton argues persuasively that the feeling of being certain is just that – a feeling or sensation – and is less to do with logical deduction than we like to believe. This chimes with the findings of people like Daniel Kahneman (Thinking, Fast and slow) that our decision-making is heavily influenced by factors outside our conscious control.

This explains why it’s so incredibly difficult to argue someone out of certainty. How many times have you tried to change someone’s mind by showing them evidence – facts and data – and heard these words: “oh, you’re right. I thought you were wrong. But now I see now that it was me who was wrong – thank you for enlightening me”? Just doesn’t happen, does it?

Even when we have access to the same information, we interpret it differently. If you really want to change someone’s mind, you have to engage with their experience and beliefs. This is why storytelling can be such a powerful persuasion technique. Nine of the ten most-watched TED talks contain stories.

Story is how we make sense of the world and learn. Like most creatures we are fundamentally prediction-machines. We try to spot patterns that enable us to predict what will happen, so we can make good decisions and prosper. The most available guide is our personal experience: I was in this situation, I did this and this was the result. Conclusion: next time, do the same thing again or don’t do the same thing again. (In story terms, this is known as the point-of-wisdom.)

So we process what has happened to us in this basic story format, learning, little by little, how to get what we want. When your friend asks how your day was, you respond by telling him or her a story: “I was on the bus this morning and this woman got on with a dog…” “I was just getting a coffee when my boss came up to me…” etc. This is you processing what has happened and what you learn from it, so you can respond better next time.

But why is your friend interested? And why do stories – films, plays, books, TV series etc. give us so much pleasure? It’s because we piggyback on the learning of others. When you listen to your friend’s story, you benefit from their experience and add to your repository of knowledge. Occasionally this surfaces as conscious knowledge “ah, I’m tempted to do x, but I heard about someone who did that in a similar situation and bad things happened”. But most of the time, this information sits in the massive unconscious reservoir of experience that guides us when we make decisions.

Back to the question of how do you change someone’s mind. By telling them a story, you trigger connections with their own experience and engage their imagination and desire to learn from you. What’s more, because of their hardwired hunger for story, you are more likely to engage them positively in discussion, rather than provoking resistance by parading your evidence and implying that they are wrong/stupid/ignorant.

I should make it clear that when I advocate using story, I’m not suggesting it’s necessary to concoct an elaborately structured, three act epic, with twists and turns and numerous subplots. The most basic story is the one I referenced earlier “I was in this situation, I took this action and this was the result”.

And in Storytelling for influence part ii and part iii I will explore how to use stories to make your message land.